what to say?

I was on a roll this month, keeping my pace in a secret competition to post more entries than Phyllis. Then on Friday I hit the wall. What do you write about when the things that consume your thoughts aren't topics that can be shared on a blog? When the private places are just too private, what do you say? I've spent all day thinking about what to write.

Maybe I could write about how I just drove by Devan's old neighborhood and missed her so much. What I would give to get to watch her belly grow and to get to cry next to her when she receives sad news! I like to watch American Idol just because I know she's watching it, too.

Or I could mention that my college friend/roommate, Emily, is moving to Denver. When I read the news I wanted to weep. Imagining things like the embrace of an old friend summons tears easily for me these days. Every day I think about calling her. I would tell her that the end of last year was hard for us, so hard that I couldn't bear the thought of typing one of those our-year-was-so-great Christmas letters, so I didn't. I would invite her to move into my neighborhood, or into my basement if she needed to. I would tell her that we could really use Ed's sense of humor right now.

Perhaps I could tell you that I got a new CD this weekend by Don Peris (of the innocence mission) and that everything he and his wife write brings me such consolation. I don't know what I would do if they ever stopped producing music; it's like the soundtrack for my life.

That's all I've got. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have something more to say.

Free Downloads from Ten Silver Slide Trombones by Don Peris: