earthquake

There is a heavy fog out my windows this morning. My first sleepy thought was, oh, no, my heart escaped the house last night and covered the world. It all started, for me at least, on Tuesday.

I was shopping at Whole Foods and just casually mentioned to the cashier that I didn't know where my head was; I was having a space-y day. Then she said, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I have this theory that we're all far more connected to each other than we realize. On days like that, I always want to call my family. I remember one day, in particular, I was super depressed for no reason I could figure out. Then that night I found out there had been a major earthquake in another part of the world. I think that's what was affecting me, all the way over here."

I knew what earthquake she was talking about; seventy thousand people died and an entire large city was left in ruins. I told her I know just what she means, and in my head I thought about how a few years ago I would have thought she was so New-Age-y, how the person behind me in line was probably thinking that this very minute. But I've learned too much about quantum science to think that way anymore. I think if we ever saw the essence of Christ (I am the Life) who is before all things and in whom all things hold together, it might look something a lot like a cosmic life force and scare the hell out of most Evangelicals. So, after I tell her I know what she means, I light-heartedly say I just had thought it was vitamin deficiency.

I came home and called someone for no reason to find out she was having a tough time. The next person I almost called, called me before I could get to the phone. And since then, the news just keeps rolling in steadily. Story piles on story to build an altar of struggle, heartbreak and tragedy. The earth has not moved, but it seems that the unseen earthquake in my universe continues to make its impact felt far and wide. I still haven't found my footing since.

To my friends who weep today:

A friend of mine is falling apart in the great northern hemisphere
While the world spins around
A friend of mine is coming undone on a floor in a room
In a house made of bricks
In a room with an organ and a crucifix
While the world spins around
While the phone rings
It's more than the sun going down
It's more than the sound of the trees that's breaking her heart

Life's not a carnival ride, I thought it was but it's not
I thought it was, I thought it was
But it's not like a radio song
Or a May parade
It's more than the smile of hello
It's more than the kiss of good-bye
It's more than my sorrow and joy

--Don Peris

When I don't know how to pray, I find myself swimming in Love for you.