It's always a dilemma for me: how many of my mental . . . quirks to spill out here? But then, once I let you into the crazy it's hard not to fill you in on how it resolves.
Before taking a leap, do I ever ask myself, Why am I doing this again? Yes. Yes, I do. I ask myself over and over again while some part of me looks for a way to wiggle out of jumping. Sometimes the answers are different, other times they are the same.
This week the answer is about comfort, maybe because that's my word for the year. I find an endless source of comfort in other people's stories, people who are willing to be true, and I want to be a part of that somehow. I want to tell stories that give comfort, like this: Your humanity is okay. You can be naive and look foolish and have body odor and all of it means you belong to the human race.
So many messages around us are designed to make us feel ashamed of our humanity. That way we won't stop buying scented personal hygiene products and matching throw pillows and cinnamon-flavored chewing gum. But people who look slick and flawless are very hard for me to take. It might make me un-likeable or unpopular, but here's what I really believe:
People who let themselves really be seen are the bravest ones of all.
There are all kinds of games we can play in life--I've been playing many of them for a long time. There's the Look Good game, the Be Good game (much harder to shake), and I'm trying with everything I've got to switch leagues into the Be True game. I think the hardest part for me is the way in which winning the Be True game requires me to lose the Look Good game and Be Good game, so even when I say I'm past caring about those things I still have to walk on stage and prove it.
If you want to come see me lose the Look Good game tonight, you can find the details for what will be an amazing show here.