finding true love

So, apparently my morning sickness is the worst before 2pm. Then I transform into a--nearly--normal human being again. The only trick is getting a whole day's work in between 2 and 9pm, when I watch a Sex in the City rerun and go to bed. The stretch from 5am-2pm is just long and unpleasant. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed by how long this could last, and I am quick to remind myself that I gave up wishing my life was different than it is.

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. Justin and I have spent a lot of time talking about what we've learned so far. It's been an interesting conversation to have juxtaposed on our observations from Sex in the City. Finding love is a mysterious thing. People search so ardently and so long to "find" true love. I suppose there is some finding involved, but not necessarily the kind people think of. After seven years of marriage (which to some people, is not very long) I am more convinced than ever that amazing love is created with another person, not stumbled across or handed to one on a silver platter. To me, the only finding to do is someone else who shares that commitment and that belief of what's possible.

I was telling Justin last night about this couple I knew who got engaged on their first date. It was primarily because they had this view. They both agreed on what they saw was possible for their shared future and were willing to commit to creating it. Years later, they love their life together.

So I guess it just makes me sad that for so many people, when the amazing aspect goes missing from their relationship, their conclusion so often is that they must have been wrong about their partner being their "soul mate" and need to find another. That kind of chasing seems endless and exhausting from my perspective. My husband and I work very intentionally to keep the amazing present, and when it goes missing our commitment to create love together grounds us in the inquiry of how to re-create it newly. To me, that's true love. No more finding is needed.