doing it my way

I had a spell in my life, years ago, when there were a lot of weddings amongst my friends. I was in a couple of them, and it was amazing to see how others could choose so differently than you would on every decision, great or small. Some differences threatened to send me to the nuthouse, others were simply . . . not what I would choose. And that was fine, because it wasn't about me. It wasn't my day. But I dreamed about the day when it would be: the day when I would get to have the music that I wanted, wear the dress that I loved.

When my wedding day came along, I loved it. I loved nearly every minute. That ceremony was the first big thing my husband and I created together, selecting music and scriptures that were an expression of who we are, together.

My sister, Meg, is a gifted teacher. In fact, she's always had this sort of Pied Piper effect on children. I heard her say a few months ago, "I can't wait until it's my turn to be a mom and have children. I can't wait to get to do it my way. I wonder what kind of mom I'll be."

Madeleine L'Engle received criticism from many in her audience when her Wrinkle In Time heroine, Meg, grew up to be a full-time wife and mother instead of pursuing advanced degrees and a distinguished scientific career. L'Engle defended her choice, saying that she thought raising your own children is just as creative a choice as any other.

Being around other women who do it differently has reminded and affirmed to me that raising my children may be the most creative act of my life, and I love getting to do it my way.