a clearing in space and time

Tomorrow's the last day of my girlfriend's garage sale, through which I'm dispersing many of our belongings. Slowly but steadily order is coming to my abode. It's like forming a clearing in space and time to create and rest and bring new life into the world. The closer the clearing comes to being complete, the greater my experience of peace and pleasure. This week is bringing order to paperwork, filing and finances.
It's just in time, I might add, since I feel like one of Amelia's toys that is showing signs of battery death. There's a slowing down that is setting in my body, fog that thickens in my mind. I'm looking forward to nestling in to knit during football games, dreaming today of weather that will be cool enough for a Kaladi Brother's hot mocha latte. Ahhh . . . Ghiradelli cocoa.
It's a strange phenomenon, this clearing in life. I even find myself sorting through relationships. Press in here, catch-up later over there. It's a sorting of our social life that makes me feel selfish and small, as though I'm promoting the shrinking of my own life. Yet it is such a deep compulsion that I'm not sure I can resist, and I'm more uncertain about whether I want to. This is uncharted territory as life felt more like entering white water rapids around Amelia's birth rather than settling into still waters. But for now, calm and clear calls.