reading my mind
I caught a post over at Wish Jar Journal that made me so happy. I recommend reading the post in its entirety, but here are a couple of my favorite parts:
my house is never as clean as I would like, but I much prefer to spend time writing reading and making things than cleaning. i keep it at a point which it doesn't depress me, tidy but a bit dusty. . . .
these are truths that a few years ago I would not wanted to have anyone know about. I would try and make people think that everything was pretty and funky and well functioning all the time. I am perfect and you should want my life.
at some point i became extremely wary and suspicious of the notion that people teach in self-help books that we should all aspire to a fully self-actualized high functioning life. this life and all it's messiness is what makes life interesting and intensely creative. i think often that's how creativity arises, in having to deal with things in the moment. the fact that some plans you have don't work out the way you wanted or "planned" forces you into a new way of seeing and operating. for me, a lot of the self-help stuff was a form of control, a way to make me feel like I was doing things "correctly". more importantly, a way of proving to others that I was great, instead of actually feeling good inside and accepting things as they are. messy and sometimes in need of fixing.
Amen, sister.