Some days I am higher-functioning than others. Yesterday fell into that 'other' category. I decided early in the morning that all of my focus needed to be on making it through the day and being kind to my children, and I needed to be gentle with myself about all the things I could be doing and wasn't. I knew I had a particularly severe case of The Mondays when I started self-medicating with chocolate chip cookies. In the evening I was very irresponsible with some pesto fettucine, which gave Lucy and me mild distress through this morning. While I'm confessing, I will also say that I am consuming way too much coffee. I am not stopping today.
The problem with the low-functioning days is their unpredictability. I wish I had an internal weather forecaster who would give me a heads-up the night before: Brace yourself for tomorrow morning. Irritability thunderstorms will be followed by chilly gusts of self-criticism. Wear your softest, most comforting socks and keep the kettle going. We'll see sunshine before long.
I was surprised last night when I realized I had accomplished several things, big and small, without focusing on any of them. High-functioning days only happen because I'm gentle with myself during the storms. Every day was never meant to be peak performance. Some days are tune-ups, self care, smartwool socks and chocolate chips. And kindness to my children, always kindness to them.